Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Families!
Everyones got one! They make me crazy sometimes! I can't figure out how to make every one of them happy all the time! Does anyone else have this problem or is it just me and my sinful being? I don't do this right, I don't say that right, I looked at that person the wrong way, I should've done this that way, I didn't do that at the right time, I can't have another chance cuz now I would be doing it because someone told me to! I QUIT!
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6 comments:
My solution was to quit trying to make them all happy. I grew up primarily with my dad's side of the family. My grandparents have 6 kids and 34 grandkids. There were plenty of people to tick off!
Of course, everyone also has their opinion about everything, and they all have to let you know when they think you're wrong. So, I gave up on making them happy. I don't make it obvious when I disagree with them. I don't just bring up things I know they'll disagree with. However, I don't try to hide it from them either. I want people to know who I am, not who they want me to be. "It's better to be hated for who you are than to be loved for who you're not."
I also make every attempt to stay out of the gossip mill. In families everyone wants to talk about everyone else. I've made it a goal not to. When I'm talking to a cousin, what's said between us won't generally get to their parents. It's private. It's personal. I want them to be able to trust me. I have a few cousins who aren't Christians, and if I told their parents things they told me, there would be no opportunity to talk to them at all. I don't condone their actions. I don't tell them I think it's good. But I don't go telling everyone else, and when you can build that kind of trust, relationships go a whole lot smoother.
But those are my thoughts. I've definitely had my many moments where I wanted to say, "I QUIT!" too. But I also realize that's not the godly solution. Me and my sinful being just need to get their act together and get whipped into shape.
I love the quote too! It's when they paint you to be someone you are absolutely NOT I think you can relate Jane) that I have the problem with. Oh well, the lord knows my heart inside and out, Praise Him for loving me! :o)
"the Lord knows my heart"
and that's what we have to rely on in the end.
By the way, for those who like to knock country music (not that any of you have...), that quote, "It's better to be hated for who you love than to be loved for who you're not," came straight from a country song that came out last year. Granted, that quote has been around for a while, and I didn't even like most of the rest of the song. But still, that line has always stuck with me, because it really helped me with how I think about...well, my relationships with people in general.
As an additional note for anyone who disses country, I won four pre-passes to see the Lord of the Rings at the Mall of America three days before it opened (and a day before the world premiere) by being caller 22 on K102. Funny thing was, none of the three friends who went with me liked country. However, they haven't knocked it since....
I would suggest that you consider who it is in the family that you're "not pleasing" and why. If you're not pleasing your widowed mother because you never call or visit and she's a shut in, then you're disobeying God in not honoring your parents or in obeying James 1:27. But if your sister is upset because you won't leave your children with a sitter for a week trip with her to Buenos Aires for the Mardi Gras festival then so be it. A bit extreme but you get my point. You need to live by your convictions based on God's speaking to you through: His word, your pastor, and your husband. These are the authorities in your life and extended family can't pull you from the place that God has called you to be.
I had some disgruntled family members who didn't always like my choices but they came to respect my consistency and appreciated the constant solidity they saw as my convictions trumped their desires. It became a good thing.
What matters most is your immediate family (husband and children) because that's where your life and influence and based. And you won't please them all the time either! So, please God and encourage them to do the same by being patient and longsuffering with you!!!
Thank you Keithslady! I appreciate your wisdom!
That's it. It's final. We're all adopting keithslady as our mom.
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