Thursday, January 31, 2008

Can I have some?

Some friends of ours have a bearded dragon at their house and we happened to be there during feeding time. One of the boys was feeding the little creature some pineapple. Liberty got a little hungry and said, "Momma, can I have some of dat pineapples he was feeding to dat cwocodiles?"

Kid thoughts

Levi is asking now. He said to me yesterday, "Mom, I don't understand why I live? Why am I alive? I just don't get it. I don't understand." I said, "What do you mean?" He said, "The other night I was riding home in the car with dad and I just had this really weird feeling. I just felt really weird about being alive. I thought it was all a dream but it isn't. It's real and I don't know why." I said, "Do you mean how did you get here?" He said, "I just don't get the point of why I'm here and I'm alive."

He also said,"I can speak to God in my mind." I said, "Does he talk back to you?" He said, "I speak to Him in my mind but he speaks back to me through my heart." All the while he was talking he was making great hand gestures that were very deep and intense.

Jace told me about a friend that he has that he has been having a hard time deciding if he should keep or not. He said,"I just keep praying to the Lord. Lord if it is your will we stay friends then let it be. Lord, not my will but yours be done."

He also told me the other day when I asked him to go and get something that he really didn't want to do the job. The part in the Bible where Peter was very tired of casting his net came into his mind and he remembered that the Lord said, "Just cast it one last time." Peter obediently listened. Jace told me he thought the Lord put that in his mind to remind him to obey his parents even when he was too tired.

Praise the Lord for all of this encouragement to a sometimes discouraged momma!

Blonde jokes

There was a blonde driving down the road one day. She glanced to her right and noticed another blonde sitting in a nearby field, rowing a boat with no water in sight.

The blonde angrily pulled her car over and yelled at the rowing blonde, “What do you think you're doing? It's things like this that give us blondes a bad name. If I could swim, I'd come out there and kick your butt!

This is one of my favorite blonde jokes:

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and it immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse''s mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip.
She tries to throw her arms around the horse''s neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly ignorant of its slipping rider.

Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup, and she is now at the mercy of the horse''s pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over.

She starts to lose consciousness, but to her great fortune, Bobby, the Wal-Mart greeter, sees her and unplugs the horse.

And one more........

A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer wants to ask her a few questions....
Officer: What's 2+2?

Blonde: Ummmmm... 4!

Officer: What's the square root of 100?

Blonde: Ummmm... 10!

Officer: Good! Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln?

Blonde: Ummmm... I dunno.

Officer: Well, you can go home and think about it. Come back tomorrow.

The blonde goes home and calls up one of her friends, who asks her if she got the job. The blonde says, excitedly, "Not only did I get the job, I'm already working on a murder case!"

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Spelling Bee

Just laughing thinking this is where we are in our language for homeschooloing these days..ha ha!

Times have changed

Times have surely changed and if you didn't live back in the sixties and seventies you missed a lot of good living

SCHOOL 1977 vs. SCHOOL 2007

Scenario: Jack goes duck hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
1977 - Vice principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his own shotgun to show Jack.
2007 - School goes into lockdown, the Feds and ATF are called, Jack is hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors are called in to assist traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1977 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2007- Police are called; SWAT team arrives and arrests Johnny and Mark. They are charged with assault and both are expelled even though Johnny started it.

Scenario: Jeffrey won't sit still in class, disrupts other students.
1977 - Jeffrey is sent to the principal's office and given a good paddling. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2007 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra district funding because Jeffrey has a disability.

Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1977 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has an affair with the psychologist.

Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some Aspirin to school.
1 977 - Mark shares Aspirin with the school principal out on the smoking dock.
2007 - Police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug violations. His car is searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario: Pedro fails high-school English.
1977 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.
2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by local human rights group. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that making English a requirement for graduation is racist. Lawyers file class action lawsuit against the public school system and Pedro's English teacher. English is banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given his diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover 4th of July firecrackers, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle and blows up an anthill.
1977 - Ants die.
2007 - FBI are called and Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. They investigate his parents, siblings are removed from the home, computers are confiscated, and Johnny's dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario: Johnny falls during recess and scrapes his knee. His teacher, Mary, finds him crying, and gives him a hug to comfort him.
1977 - Johnny soon feels better and goes back to playing.
2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces three years in federal prison. Johnny undergoes five years of therapy.

9 evils that death will put an end to!

An encouraging way to look at death for the believer!

"I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far!" Philippians 1:23

1. Death will put an end to a believer's SINS.

2. Death will put an end to a believer's TEMPTATIONS.

3. Death will put an end to a believer's FEARS.

4. Death will dry up a believer's TEARS.

5. Death will put an end to a believer's TROUBLES.

6. Death puts an end to a believer's CARES.

7. Death will put an end to all our NATURAL imperfections.

8. Death will put an end to the imperfections of GRACE.

9. Death will put an end to a weary PILGRIMAGE

Tuesday, January 29, 2008



in January 2009

Hillary Clinton gets elected President and is spending her first night in the White House. She has waited so long..........

The ghost of George Washington appears, and Hillary says,
"How can I best serve my country?"

Washington says, "Never tell a lie."
"Ouch!" Says Hillary, "I don't know about that."

The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson appears...
Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?"

Jefferson says,

"Listen to the people."
"Ohhh! I really don't want to do that."

On the third night, the ghost of Abe Lincoln appears...
Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?"

Lincoln says,
"Go to the theater."

Sunday, January 27, 2008

CH Spurgeon

"If some men were sentenced to hear their own sermons, it would be a righteous judgment upon them; but they would soon cry out to God, 'My punishment is greater than I can bear!'"


Pastor J

You didn't join a group of elite members when you became a christian but a group of ordinary men chosen to be servants and imitators of Christ.

-Pastor J

Friday, January 25, 2008


“Love is as much a question of the will as it is of the emotion. And if you WILL to love somebody, you can.”

-Ravi Zacharias

Marriage quote

“William Doherty begins his excellent book “Take Back Your Marriage” with a powerful illustration. His office is located in St. Paul, Minnesota, not far from the farthest point north on the Mississippi River. He describes the river’s formidable but silent current that drives its waters southward. ‘Everything on the water that is not powered by wind, gasoline, or human muscle’ heads south.

Then he adds these words: ‘I have thought that getting married is like launching a canoe into the Mississippi at St. Paul. If you don’t paddle, you go south. No matter how much you love each other, no matter how full of hope and promise and good intentions, if you stay on the Mississippi without a good deal of paddling — occasional paddling is not enough — you end up in New Orleans. Which is a problem if you want to stay north.'

Wednesday, January 23, 2008


Physics Force

We went to the "Physics Force" the other night at the Northrup. Cool science stuff ya know. Jace has this little friend at church that he tells me he is gonna marry someday and she was there. It was a packed house and we were sitting about 10 rows behind her. Jace was busy playing games with his friend Ann Marie so Hope (the girl he is gonna marry) couldn't spot him in the large crowd. After the production I asked Jace why he didn't say hi to Hope. He said, "I'm glad she didn't see me. I didn't want her to think I was with another woman."

Jacob and Esau

Liberty was telling me the story of Jacob abd Esau the other day after church and it was so cute. She said, "Jacob and Esau were brothers. Esau was hungry. Jacob lied to his dadddy." It was the sweetest thing. If you could hear her sweet little voice it was really priceless!

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

This is abortion

More quotes

“By perseverance the snail reached the ark.” - C.H. Spurgeon

"If you want your own way, God will let you have it. Hell is the enjoyment of one's own way forever.” - Dorothy Sayers

“Humility is to expect nothing, to wonder at nothing done to us, to feel nothing against us. It is to be at rest when nobody praises us and when we are blamed and despised. It is to have a blessed home in the Lord where we can go in and shut the door and kneel to our Father in secret, and be at peace when all around is trouble.” - Andrew Murray

Friday, January 18, 2008


Is your husband your best friend? This is a little list I pulled out of a book called "Romancing Your Husband" by Debra White Smith that I thought I would share with you. Now you can ask him after you figure out if you know these about him! Fun!

What is the happiest thing that has ever happened to your husband?

What has been the best experience of his life?

What are his secret ambitions, his goals for life?

What are his deepest fears?

What about you does he appreciate the most?

What traits of yours would he like to see changed?

What man or men does he most admire?

What are his spiritual struggles?

What's his favorite piece of your lingerie?

What's his favorite color? Restaurant? Dessert?

What's his favorite song?

What's his favorite sport?

Who is his favorite professional athlete?

What was his favorite class in high school/college?

When he was a child what did he dream of doing?

What is his earliest childhood memory?

How does he feel about storms? Has he ever been in a tornado? Snowed in?

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

My middle child

Levi is the middle child here, as if you didn't know. As of lately he is making me crazy! I love him, don't get me wrong but he is testing me right now in a big way! He can never find anything to do and he walks around with this look on his face that I want to remove quickly. I told him he gets sp**ked if he even said the word bored. I am putting him to work and hoping he gets the point of entertaining himself soon. He is working on it but it's gonna be a long road. As soon as he's done he says what's next?! He's right by my side endlessly asking questions and talking etc. Feel free to call him up for a sleepover if you need to add any craziness to your own life. He just came up to me and said, "Mom, I'm not bored!" Well, looks like I have to go and administer! :O)

Monday, January 14, 2008

Whose mission statements?

1. ”A computer on every desktop and in every home, running our software”

2. "Establishing ourselves as the premier purveyor of the finest coffee in the world while maintaining our uncompromising principles while we grow."

3. ”We seek to be the world’s most customer-centric company, where customers can find and discover anything they may want to buy online at a great price.”

4. “To bring inspiration and innovation to every athlete in the world.”

5. ”Organize the world’s information and make it universally accessible and useful.”

6. ”To give ordinary folk the chance to buy the same thing as rich people.”

7. “To make people happy.”

I know you know these Pulpit readers!

Sunday, January 13, 2008

One man said all 3, who is it?

Republicans believe every day is the Fourth of July, but the democrats believe every day is April 15.

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

If we ever forget that we are One Nation Under God, then we will be a nation gone under.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Cd player

I gave Levi Jaces old cd player/radio. I remembered that it didn't work but I couldn't recall why. I put a cd in it and it played the entire thing. Mmmn? Later that night we were playing another one and it just stopped in the middle of it. I remembered that it randomly just quits. I said, "Weird. It worked earlier today." Levi said, "Looks like it's just a day cd player. It doesn't work when it turns into night."

Talk Radio

Jace loves talk radio. He likes KTLK especially. Everyday he's sharing the latest news with me. Last night we were talkin about the Wild game. I said, "wasn't it sweet that they won?" He said, "No, they lost." We went back and forth for a minute when he finally gave up and said, "Maybe it was the game before. My radio must be a day behind."


US man cuts off his own hand
Thursday, 10 January 2008

A man in the US state of Idaho cut off his hand with a circular saw and cooked it in the microwave because he believed he bore 'the mark of the beast', US police said.

The man, who has not been named, called emergency services to inform authorities that he had cut off his hand and was severely bleeding.

When deputies arrived at the man's home, he told police he had severed the limb because he believed he had the mark of the beast on his hand.

His hand was discovered 'cooked' in a microwave oven.

The man is undergoing a mental evaluation at a local hospital.

This is crazy, this is crazy, this is crazy...........

Friday, January 11, 2008


I was perusing another brothers blog when I came across something very interesting. JI Packer is coming out with a new book entitled "18 Words: The Most Important Words You will Ever Know." What would you think they are? What is missing?

I know you're dying to know what they are mom.


Jace and I were out on our bread route last night when we came to the cops house. He lives just a block from us and Jace really enjoys visitng him. As he was getting out of the car he said, "I hope I don't have any drugs on me." I said, "What do you mean?" He said, "Don't you know he has 2 drug dogs?" I said, "Yes, but what do you mean? Why would you have drugs on you?" He said, "You never know mom. Some could have touched me." Mmnnnn?

Thursday, January 10, 2008

A fresh one

Warning: This blog may disgust some.

Levi came into the bathroom the other day and told me he had to go poop. We embarassingly) were out of toilet paper. He didn't notice so I said, "Levi, we are out of toilet paper." There was a kleenex box sitting on the counter which he didn't notice. I waited to hear his reply before I told him there was another option. He looked up and squinched his eyebrows all up considering what he might do and said, "This is gonna be a fresh clean one. I think I'll be fine." I was totally grossed out and said, "There is a kleenex box right next to you." He said, "Oh, thanks mom."

Sunday, January 06, 2008

Probably not a good word

Jace said to me a couple weeks ago, "This kid at the Christmas party called something a motherthucker. What is that?" I replied, "It's probably not a good word."

Today he asked me, "Mom, what is funk?" I said, "What do you mean?" He said, "This kid was getting off the chair lift the other day and he shouted to his friend, "What the funk?!" I replied, It's probably not a good word."

Who said it? Where's it from?

"The term is over: the holidays have begun. The dream is ended: this is the morning."

Friday, January 04, 2008


This morning Levi was at it again. Annoying his sister. I asked him why he must do this everyday? He said, "You forgot mom. I have sin. We all have sin. Ever since the beginning when Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit there has been sin. God cannot look at sin. You see, before they ate the forbidden fruit our hearts were "pitch" red. Because of that our hearts are black." I said, "What can we do?" He said, "We need to ask God to forgive our sins and He will take them away. That's what He did for us on the cross." Liberty was listening intensely to his sermon and she looked at him and said, "I'm sorry." She then looked at me and said, "He forgived me."

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Finally, a picture of Libs and I that I like. We were at a breakfast brunch hoedown in my Uncles garage and all the kiddos had to take turns sitting on his big John Deer. Loads of fun!

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Hillary Nutcracker

Have you seen it? It's the Hillary Clinton Nutcracker. Mmmnnn...........

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Questions for the New Year

1. How am I going to study God's Word this year?
2. How am I going to discipline myself to not put off my Bible reading this year?
3. What does God want me to learn through His Word this year?
4. How should I meditate on God's Word this year?
5. What can I do to share God's Word with others this year?
6. How can I cultivate a deep love for God's Word this year?
7. How can God's Word be first in my life this year?