If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
Practice makes perfect.....But nobody's perfect......so why practice?
The light at the end of the tunnel is just the light of an oncoming train.
Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.
When I was a kid, we had a quicksand box in the backyard. I was an only child...eventually.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax; tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.